Thursday, December 08, 2005

North Pole My Butt!!!

Oh man oh man. I thought I had seen the worst of SPAM. Ungodly offers and requests for products and services of all kinds of debaucherous trash. Yet, to my shock and awe, today I received an offer for this!


While this did get me thinking that I should have started a similar program from here, I was shocked. Does the sender of the garbage know who I am? I have the right mind to destroy this person ... Santa ... HA!

Ok, thats enough, but I would like to draw your attention to a couple of items I found particularly amusing. First, if your child is old enough to read and still believes in Santa, then I pity your child. Believe me, it will grow up to be a pathetic loser, I know this from first hand experience. Second, if they are old enough to read, then I think the Alaska postal address may just tip them off. Thirdly, isn’t claiming that Santa himself will sign this a bit of false advertising? Finally, what is the difference between the traditional and Christian versions? Isn't Christmas a traditional Christian holiday?

I am one angry South Pole elf aren't I?


Anonymous Emily A. said...

You know Rob, when I was little and I believed in Santa and the 3 kings (Latin America thing, on January 6, you know), I was very confused as to just how the heck would Santa enter my parents' house. There's no chimney! Houses in Puerto Rico have no chimney for the obvious reason that the temperature doesn't fall below 65. And I wondered if the poor old man would die of heat exhaustion, what with all the fur coats and all... But my parents assured me that he had a special shorts-and-t-shirt uniform that he wore especially for when he went to Puerto Rico so that he didn't feel too hot. And he got into the house beee....caaauuusee.... uuuhh... yeah, because. Mm-hmm. They never told me.

The 3 kings was harder to understand, as they came from Arabia or somewhere over there riding on their camels. How the camels went over the oceans, I have no clue. And how the camels went inside the house I have no idea either, but kids left grass for the camels to eat (as oposed to cookies & milk for Santa) and the next day the grass was gone, so there ya go :-P

9:51 PM CST  

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